Stupid questions

I started physical therapy today.  My back has been killing me for months (a lot of months) and I finally went to the doctor about it.  I was laying on a table doing some exercises when I hear an older man say, “Why do you ask that?  I am in pain.  Quit asking me how I feel!”  I did actually laugh out loud.

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My boss the other day was telling us about the stats of the newspapers sold from racks, like the ones you see in grocery stores or outside of convenience stores.  He was pointing out the stories that he thought drove a pretty good week of rack sales.  And then says, “Well, Sunday did better at Wal-Mart because the story was a feature.”

We all stared a little blankly (there were five other people in the meeting).  He continues, “Who is buying the paper these days (indicating weekdays)?”  Silence.

“Men!” he proclaims.  “And women buy it on the weekends.”  We stared, but I think my mouth fell open.

Him: Because we sell more papers from Wal-Mart on the weekends.

Me: So… only women go grocery shopping?

Him: No, but women are buying the paper at WalMart on the weekends and men are buying it at Maverick on the weekdays.

He smile proud of his amazing deduction skills.

Him: Of course, there’s not enferical (empirical) data for this.  But that’s what it is.

Coworker to my left: So, how do you know this?

Him: It just makes sense!

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My sister called me today and said, “Well, I’ve lost another one!”

I, figuring out she was talking about one of her sons said, “What did he do?”

The 2-year-old said today, “How much longer?”(His new favorite movie quote – from ‘Up’)

Sister: Forever!  You are mine forever!

Nephew: No, mine is daddy’s.

Sister: No!  You love me.  You are mine.

Nephew: No, I love daddy.

Gluttony achieved

I went on a week-long cruise last week.  I think a lot of people associated cruises with constant eating, which is not unfounded.  There is a buffet open most of the time and fancy dining rooms open at night, you can eat all you want and it is (for the most part) included in your cruise price, so it feels free.

I was getting a snack at the buffet one afternoon and realized why so many of the cruise passengers overeat… too many options.

I went in to get a roll and some watermelon, but walked out with two kinds of bread, cheese, soup, three kinds of fruit, mashed potatoes and a roasted chicken leg.  It’s not that I was hungry or went in wanting to eat most of those things, but you walk by these rows and rows of food-laden counters and you just have to try all of this amazing food.

I was actually somewhat moderate in my eating, you know, compared to some.  The husband for instance.  My mantra for him the whole trip was “Quantity does not change quality” because if he found something he wanted he got two or three.

It was interesting for us to eat in abundance in front of the cruise staff, nearly all of which are from foreign countries because we wondered sometimes if this gluttony and waste offended them.  That in some of those countries, poverty is widespread and so is hunger.  I never had the nerve to ask them.

All told, I gained three pounds and I have already lost one.  The husband gained nine and a half.  Impressive I know.  That’s my man.  He has already lost four.

Gluttony achieved.

Stoner cat

Well, my kitties are home now and they don’t hate me.  They are funny though.

Titan was still pretty drugged when I got home last night and just went to sleep, this morning I held her down and gave her some pain medication.

She wasn’t too happy at the time, but when I got back from my workout her pupils were huge and she would purr anytime I pet her (which she doesn’t normally do).  It made me laugh…  stoner cat.

I think they will survive and forgive me.

Kitties and guilt

I feel guilty.  Very guilty.

I took my poor innocent kittens to the vet this morning to have them sterilized… And they just had no idea.

They were scared, they didn’t like being in the box I had to put them in, but they had no idea.

When the vet took them out and was putting the tags on them so they did the right procedure to the right cat, I petted them and told them it would be okay.

They might hate me later.

Also, when the vet pulled out the first cat he said, “Which one is this?”

I said, “That’s Titan, the girl.”

He said, “Titan? That’s not a very girly name.”

I said, “Yeah, well… I thought I got a boy.”

Home stupid home

Yes, I am home now.  After a fabulous week lounging around the Caribbean, I am back to the real world.

I must admit… things could be going better.  At work the website/servers are struggling.  Which makes my job so very hard or impossible.

Aside from that, it is cold here.  That was the best part of vacation, besides the fabulous company of course, the lovely warmth and occasional sunshine.  It was cloudy most of the time I was traveling, but it was still very nice and warm.

It’s funny to be back at work.

Everyone asks, “How was it?”

I say, “It was great.”

They say, “You aren’t very tan.”

Sigh, yes, I know.  I tan VERY well for a redhead, but I am still a redhead.

It was a fascinating trip, and I will tell you more about it and the things I learned in later posts.  For now,  I am going to a meeting.

On a jet plane… with no Dew

I am flying away to warmth and happiness in the morning and besides crazies and storms and stuff, I have one HUGE concern.

I am dependent on Diet Mountain Dew and they don’t sell it in the airports.  I have only found one store in all of my travels that sold it.  AND they won’t let me bring my own because it is more than 3 oz.

This is so frustrating.  But I am going on vacation so it doesn’t sting like it might otherwise.

Farewell all.

Night shift: Day 3

It was a pretty quiet night.  There was some shouting about computer problems, but I was too busy to figure out what they were yelling.

I am just eight more working hours from a vacation of my own and then Nichole has to come back from her vacation and deal with this madness.

I am really tired though.  If I were to post this without fixing the typos, I doubt anyone could read it.  I think the point where I realized I had hit exhaustion was when I had to stop what I was doing to look for the hyphen key.  Silly.

So now I am just waiting for the last thing to upload and my brief stint on the night desk comes to an end.  It’s just me and the janitor here now.

I have to be back by about 10 a.m. tomorrow – well, later this morning actually as it is after midnight.

Not too much craziness, but one of our nuttiest copy editors decided to take most of this month off, so I didn’t have her comments to share with you.  And the other weirdo one was only here one night and you read those.  The others were just quietly working.  How dull.

So goodnight.  It is so past my bedtime.

Night shift: Day 2

Silly conversations I overheard:

Coworker 1: So, I hear you got engaged.

Coworker 2: Yeah

CW1: Congratulations

CW2: Well, I’m 34, I kinda figured it was time.

CW1: No, I think that’s really cool.

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CW3: How you doing? Feel weird to be here on a Tuesday?

CW1: I don’t even know what day it is. I’m so confused it doesn’t really matter.

CW3: Well, I hope you can get the date right on your pages.

CW1: That’s what I have you guys for.  Yeah, my schedule is so messed up from this week, I’m all outta whack.

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CW1: What are you? I don’t remember where you stand.

CW4: What are you?

CW1: I’m a moderate.

CW4: That’s where I put myself too.

CW1: I’m a moderate that leans toward the conservative.  I don’t want to pay anyone to sit on their butts.  Other than that I’m a moderate.

Joke of the night

Talking about the weather forecast changing hourly…

Nick: There’s a joke in there.

Me: About me not being a weathercaster?

Nick: No, the opposite actually.  Why are all weathercasters men?

Me: … They aren’t.

Nick: Just play along.

Me: Ok, why?

Nick: Because they are always wrong!

I like it.

Night shift: Day 1

Nichole (the night web publisher) writes the best blogs about the crazy copy editors and their conversations.

I am sad to report it was a pretty quiet night.  The most normal of the crew were on tonight.

Only two odd things happened.

Nick (we call him Tigger most of the time because he runs around and jumps and smiles like a maniac) jumped up on the corner of my cubicle.  He was braced on his arms fully extended so I could see half of his body and our cubicles are five and a half feet tall… so he was up there.  Crazy.

And the other one was Gus likes to sneak up behind me and see how close he can get before I hear him.  If he gets all the way to my chair, he starts doing weird things.  I am pretty good at tuning out background noise so he usually makes it to the chair.  So tonight I finally hear the rustling of clothes and turn around and Gus says,” Finally!  I am dancing the Macarena back here and you still can’t hear me!”

Then we had a conversation about how dull this blog would be.  I’ll try harder tomorrow.